French Lessons

I am taking a trip to Europe to visit my sister in Paris at the end of March. In order to alleviate some of the humiliation of being American among the French, I have enrolled in a class called "French for Travelers." Prior to this class, my French vocabulary has consisted only of words already adopted into the English language (milieu, tete-a-tete, hors d'oeuvres, repertoire...).

In high school we had weekly vocabulary lists, which occasionally contained a word of French origin. Of these, the one I remember most is "ennui." It is a noun describing a feeling of dissatisfaction, boredom, listlessness, disillusionment. Why this word stuck out to me in high school should require no explanation. Since then, periods of my life have certainly been characterized by pervasive ennui.

Last week I felt a bout of ennui coming on and remedied it by moving around the furniture in my room. Even when the stakes are low, it can be difficult for me to break with a system that I am certain works. It actually took a fair amount of courage to pull the bed away from the wall and switch the dresser with the bookshelf. Now my clothes are all in the same place and I am actually using my record player because it is in a more convenient location. It is remarkable how a simple gesture can reopen old possibilities.

The new arrangement of my room temporarily assuaged my looming fear of complacency. Every now and again, you have to stir the pot. Remind yourself that you are still alive.

To revise my initial statement, I am taking a trip to Europe to exersize the notion of change--to prove to myself that life can change if I make it. I am quitting my job and leaving the country for a month and I have no idea what I'll be doing when I get back. In recent months, the most valuable and fulfilling moments have been the ones involving risk and change. These moments have not always been the happiest, but have taught me loads about cause and effect. Sometimes I forget that I am a cause and not simply a recipient of effects.

Today in French class we learned about taking Taxis. Because I have difficulty limiting my thoughts to one subject and often extrapolate meaning into an unrelated sitaution, I'll leave you with an expression which I think has more than one application.

"Gardez la monnaie" or "keep the change."